A Subculture, To a lifestyle, To A New Religion! (Ft Telephone & 2 Gryphon) 🐺
♪ Lights (Instrumental) By, Ellie Goulding ♪ There’s this equality momentum that’s going on and I think … That uhh …
Furries should jump on that. I think we need to jump on that train and milk it, because I would like to see more furry rights.
I would like- Wouldn’t you like it, … if you could have a driver’s license, and your photo was a
drawing of your character? (Cheering) Of Course, this is why we need to get to work. Wouldn’t you like it if you would legally change your name to an animal sound, and force everyone
around you, to have to call you that name?! Yes! That’s why we need to get to work, because
furries deserve these rights, because furries,
DESERVE TO GO TO WORK IN FURSUITS! Yes! And, “because” I am such a brainiac, …
I know how we can do this. Are you ready for this, are you ready for this? ok. Turn #Furry into an actual recognized religion. (Gasping & Cheering) Now s- stay with me, stay with me here. If some– if some weird, fried, brainhead in Colorado
can actually turn the Church of Cannabis, into an
actual religion, … and they “DID”! Then furries can sure as h***, turn #Furry into a Religion. So, they can’t stop us from coming to work, in fursuits,
because our god, “God”,
(whom we often call referring to our father)
who dwells in the eternal forest, Demands that we- uh what.
What would our god even be?
What would– Did I– wait, no, no, no, no!
Did I hear somebody say a giraffe?! Because our God, “Great Giraffe” Created all of us, with different (anthropomorphic) spirits inside of our bodies, and he demands, that we all express those spirits, as often as we possibly can, According to our Holy Doctrine. Mmhm it– … it says very clearly,
in uhh… Yes! In
2 Jeffrey 2:16 “Blessed be the long of neck, and neck of long”. 2 Jeffrey 2:17
“And to those, of you, long of neck in spirit, …
may you be blessed to brandish the long neck on earth”. 2 Jeffrey 2:18
“May you brandish your spiritual attributes on earth, be you, long bushy of tail, or tall of ears;
2:19 and ye too shalt be blessed” Can I hear an “Amen”? Well, no actually, no we can’t–
That’s already taken.
[A Term in Christianity] What– Wait, what sound does a giraffe make? Ok, Here’s a- s-something like…
(Nervously in Laughter) Bree!! Th-That’s our Amen from now on, ok?
When the Christian preacher says the Amen,
We furries go “Bree!!”, y-you guys g-get it?
ok. So, Can I hear a “Bree!”? Ok. We gotta– (chuckles) See so, now we can go to work with/in fursuits. a-and they have to respect our holidays too.
Our Religious holidays. Yep. Such as, “Anthrocomadon” Yea. and uh- “MidWest FurFest-Mas” And see, — What? People are pointin’ & shit.
Is there a fire, or what? Alright, um- gonna continue my show now.
oh did?.. yeah that too. So yeah, we can do that, we can totally bring in a fursuit, a-and those holidays, we get them off, and we get to take them off, from school and work, and come to our sacred places of worship, where we eat of the consecrated pizza, and drink of the water of anthropomorphism, also known as “Pinnacle Whipped Cream Flavored Vodka”. And we “must” come to these events, and worship, Great Giraffe. Through song & dance …
and Dragon (censored) For he demands that we do not skip these events,
lest he throw us in the eternally burning jungle,
forever & ever because he loves us so much. And we need a Holy Symbol.
We gotta have a Holy s- equal representation, right?
Equal Representation. So, when you see a crucifix, hanging in any kind of official capacity, right next to it is a Jewish star, and then the Muslim crescent star, and then a picture of Telephone. 3 Kage 23:3
“And I shall sent amongst thee, a prophet
who is big of eye, and cute of squeak” 3 Kage 23:4
“And to this prophet, shall ye unto gather,
(Playful Mannerism) wherefore
she will devour your soul, for this pleases me”.
Bree!! (Giggles under breath) (Sarcastically)
The FBI’s gonna have some questions for us, after this.
(At least this new anthro-otherkin-religion isn’t the “Westboro Baptist Church!”) xD hehehe Bree!! So… “So”– uhm And did you know, that in some states,
if you work in service, you don’t have to serve someone, who goes against your commandments. Commandments, we must have commandments! Commandment #1:
“Thou shalt not steal, kill or be a jerk”.
Get that outta the way Commandment #2:
“Thou shalt not eat at Denny’s” Commandment #3:
“Thou shalt not keep a job, for longer,
than it takes to pay to get to the next furry convention” Commandment #4:
“Thou shalt not forsake thy video games” Commandment #5: (Sarcasm)
“Thou shalt always be confused by cartoons & putting”
(Unfortunately some furs are insightful of the theories/secrets of cartoons & know what putting is. xD) Commandment #6:
“Thou shalt never challenge a german
to a drinking contest” Commandment #7:
“Thou shalt NOT ask What the Fox says!!”
(Yes, even in a joking manner) and Commandments #8, 9, & 10:
(when in doubt) #8:
“Thou shalt not forge a threatening scene
towards other furries of your own kind whether in physical form [suit] or not.”
“Thou shalt share equal, unfavorable love & respect for each furry of your kind & not lead any act of jealousy.”
“Thou shalt not beg an artist/company to negotiate prices for artwork or fursuits, if it’s already been set, or unless the maker suggestions an idea.” So just to make it official, ladies & gentlemen,
just to make it official, please join me in prayer. All creatures, Bree!! Prayer: Oh Great Giraffe, whom we love with all of
our hearts, we beseech you to bless
our fight to make our faith, … (which we just made up) … into a real religion, a successful & glorious one; So that we may spread, your wisdom and glory… … and your desire for Monday to be our Sabbath,
so we can have an extra day to drink. To The World! We ask you, Great Giraffe to give us the ability,
to have necks twice as tall as our bodies, So the people who are going down us,
are literally too far away to be seen. We thank you, Great Giraffe, for your strength,
and ask you for your result. When… When the nonbelievers, the heathens,
come to us and they say:
“How can you believe in such nonsense?” So we can look them in the eye, … and we can tell them truly, … (In Laughter) Cause It’s REAL NICE!! In Great Giraffe’s Name, we pray,
BREE!! ♪ Kids In America By, No Secrets ♪
♪ We’re the kids in America! Ha-oh!♪ [2x]
♪ Everybody lives for the Music-Go-Round! ♪